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Trump Slurs His Way Through a Profound Policy Shift
Trevor Noah reacted with alarm to President Trump’s decision on Wednesday to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel — a move that reverses seven decades of U.S. policy and threatens to further destabilize the Middle East.
“Moving the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem is like getting an apartment in your ex-girlfriend’s building. It’s not technically illegal, but you’re trying to start some [expletive].” — TREVOR NOAH
“I’m not saying I know how to solve the Middle East crisis, but I know how you break it — this is how. Trump probably wants to put out the California fires by throwing Samsung phones at them. What are you doing?” — TREVOR NOAH
Mr. Noah couldn’t help taking a moment to point out that Mr. Trump had been slurring his words toward the end of his speech recognizing Jerusalem. He wondered if Mr. Trump might have been wearing dentures that came loose — and may have started a new hashtag.
“I say forget the Mueller investigation, bring on the molar investigation. We need to know what’s happening, people. I need to know now; this is sherioush.” — TREVOR NOAH
“There’s no shame in having dentures — but there is shame in Donald Trump having dentures, because he’s vain as hell. Can you imagine how he would feel if people started tweeting ‘#DentureDonald’? He would be — don’t do it, don’t do it, I’m just saying can you imagine how he’d feel. But don’t do it, guys, he’s very shenshuhtive.” — TREVOR NOAH
Other late-night hosts eagerly took the bait, too. (The slurring was pretty bad.)
“I mean, I knew he had a screw loose — I didn’t know he had a tooth loose.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Towards the end of the speech on Israel today, President Trump began to slur his words, leading some to speculate that he may have been wearing dentures. But the White House insists that it’s nothing unusual and that most of his words are slurs.” — SETH MEYERS
Samantha Bee on Men in Media ‘Who Hate Women’
After a two-week break, Samantha Bee returned to the air on Wednesday with this week’s edition of “Full Frontal.” She spent most of the show addressing the latest allegations of sexual harassment against men in positions of power, focusing in particular on members of the media.
“It’s time to ask ourselves, can men who hate women be objective journalists? Aha: That was a trick question. Everyone knows that men who hate women can be anything they put their minds to.” — SAMANTHA BEE, showing a photograph of Mr. Trump being sworn in